AVG Runtime Packed FSG

Recently while doing a full system scan (everyone should do it once in a while, even if you have the Resident Shield running for whatever Anti-Virus prog you are running) AVG came up with some old programs I used to use and this message. Not many people seem to know what it is, so here at CTRL+ALT+INS we believe in being stupid AND smart at the same time, so we're going to let you know what it is in both short and simple terms.

Short for the smart:
FSG is a signature from a compressor and it is merely a tag stating that, that particular compressor was used and may not represent any malware present.

Simple for the stupid:
FSG is a program used to squish EXE and other files and programs (FastSmallGood) to make them smaller for other people to use. The problem is, in the past many bad people used this program to compress their code (making an EXE file, etc) to HIDE the bad stuff/trojans they were putting in there. Some freeware program you downloaded to edit your photos may be just fine, but since they used this fsg thing to compress their files (DLL,EXE, etc) AVG is just letting you know that 'hey they used this thing that used to be used for bad purposes, so this may be a bad person trying to hide it, or not'. That's all.

So, if it's a program you use often or know to be fine, don't worry about it. If it is a new or unknown or possibly malicious program/person that it is coming from, perhaps check it out another way or don't use that program at all.

That's it.

Poor Man's Guide to The April 1 Computer Virus Thing by Jezzball

On April 1st, there is supposed to be some virus or something and it's supposed to hit the world like a tsunami of bukakke and it's either going to be very harmful or a complete hoax.

Why take chances?

Here are, at the last possible minute, 2 of my best ideas for poor people like me who are running Win98SE and leave their computer on all the time and open to the intertubes so they may have this troyjan or virus:

1) DO NOT TURN ON YOUR COMPOOTER ON APRIL 1ST
That's it, easy. Go outside or get yer yearly shower or telegraph and catch up with relatives.
Best way. No problem. Can't possibly trigger the virus.

2) SET YOUR DATE TO ANOTHER TIME
I don't mean like Dec.12 2012, it doesn't have to be that drastic. Just set it for like the 3rd or something and when IRL time = April 2nd, set it properly. Done. No problem. Can't possibly trigger the virus.

For those of you who are nerding out over this and absolutely HAVE to sign in to World of Warcraft to do your dailies or check your auction, then go here:
http://www.microsoft.com/technet/security/Bulletin/MS08-067.mspx
and download your OS type and install 'er. This is like a vaccination for your poor old comp about this April 1st viroos straight from Dr. Gates.

Ima do it right now actually, while I'm hooked up to da interwebs















Done!


Now go get a job and buy a new comp

Coining or Coinage or Coined

One of our members has thusly created a new word thingamaboober

In response to that annoying advertisement of Susan Express in WoW








Relandis said following "Prices have drooped dramastically!"

Which bought him a few lols/lulz

Thusly, he has coined a new term of concantintonations:

Dramastically™

(C)CTRLALTINS2009LOL

If you make a new guild, it can have dramastic in it.
We can have pkp and rung arguementz and split it in half later.

gg

Shad's Take on Joaquin Phoenix and the Letterman Interview

Joaquin Phoenix: the truth - well, according to what I've seen...

Anyone who is 'plugged into' the media in any way, by TV or by Interweb, will have heard about this great actor's beard and mumbling by now. Yet, noone seems to know why this has all come about.

Whenever anyone encounters things they don't understand, especially negative things, or things that may even be directed at them, they call it 'fake' in reaction - and there is no difference here.

Not knowing that the joke is on them, the media is calling it all 'a hoax' and making fun of this actor.



So what is going on then?
I'll tell you what I think, and it seems to be a very rare viewpoint indeed.

About a half a year ago, I was flipping channels on the television, and just happened to catch a show that appeared to be a 'travel' type of documentary/show with an African fellow as the host, and the backdrop was still in the city... I didn't catch the beginning, but it appears that the host and crew of the show 'bumped into' Joaquin at the airport and after telling him about their show, he joined them for the trip. Dang, I really wish I would remember the name of the travel/documentary...

Regardless, in the show, they went to a very remote village (south america?) that was only reachable by river. The culture shock was astounding, as in the isolated village, the life was the 'historically stereotypical' hut-and-skirt type - and it started with a huge welcome to the show's host and Joaquin, as the entire village came to welcome them and celebrate their arrival.


With my ADD, I didn't watch the whole thing, but flicking back and forth once in a while, I saw snippets of stick-banging rituals and a spot where the villagers seemed to blow tobacco/peyote up each other's noses (including Joaquin) and much more.

The culture, the lack of materialism, the togetherness of the village, the happiness... it all seemed to affect Joaquin particularly deeply (the crew even caught a moment of emotion from him..).
By the end of the show, they were going to return and were travelling down the river. At the last moment, Joaquin announced that he was 'going to stay' and the host informed him that there would be no way out for some time if he did. The end shot I watched of the travel/documentary show was Joaquin driving himself back up the river in the boat...

So, the truth (to me) is that this talented, intelligent person has found himself, found something, and realized the emptiness of the materialism and fame of the entertainment world. It is all a joke to him - and the Rap Career? It's just a final joke upon the media, as Rap is seen as the epitome of materialism, fame-chasing, useless entertainment. I have arrived at this 'truth' about Joaquin Phoenix on my own, and I don't know Mr.Phoenix - but if I did not happen to catch that travel/documentary show that fateful day, I too may think it's all just a stunt - but as it stands, I did, and I don't.


From Shad's Shorts, his ranting blog at shadsshorts.blogspot.com

World of Warcraft: Monkey's Best Ever Paladin Guide to Winning Alterac Valley (Horde)

(Rated PG-13 For Language) SPIN MOVE

World of Warcraft: Paladin Guide To Winning Alterac Valley (Horde)
by Monkey (formerly Kimasoko of WoW)
(Monkey's Edition Here)

Visit Monkey's YouTube Channel:
http://www.youtube.com/user/MonkeyAMVs


(Once seen on our YouChoob channel (which is now closed), Shad has explicit permission from Monkey himself to post this video of awesomeness)

The Show Starts In Ten Minutes

GTA IV : Tips and Tricks for Making it Click

GTAIV (that's Grand Theft Auto 4 for you idiots) was finally FINALLY released on the PC on December 2nd/3rd 2008. The only thing with this is, is that the final/release portion was obviously rushed (trying to get it out in time for Xmas?) and people are having major problems. This post is an effort on a couple of CTRL+ALT+INS's part to help out with information and how to use it that may help you, the frustrated idiot masses. In a way, we shouldn't call you idiots because we had the same problem. But oh well, idiots.

Shad, one of our editors, is nice enough to compile answers to questions and problems that he's run into and how to solve them and has put it together here (finally, you slow ass) for the mob that is the public. He covers things backward (from problems when running, back to problems getting it running) but that's because he's stupid. Ok, not really.




Thank you. Ok, for one thing, even if you did get it installed and running, it'll be slow as hell. It's like your computer is 3 years older than it actually is. This is a combination of many problems, but here's a few answers..

NVIDIA - Link to Beta Drivers for GTAIV
http://www.nzone.com/object/nzone_gtaiv_downloads.html
These drivers are from Nvidia and helped with the overall speed of the game and how it runs.
These alone took me from a slideshow to a 20+ fps playable game and that's why I am currently enjoying the heck out of the beauty that is GTAIV.

For you ATI Users, here's yours: http://game.amd.com/us-en/drivers_catalyst.aspx

For some people, turning Graphic Settings down doesn't do squat. Leave it at 1900x1200 or turn it down to the minimal 800x600 and it runs the same. This is probably a limitation of your CPU and a bunch of other things, but let's get back to what else you CAN DO.


What? You can't even adjust the settings at all? Well here are some command-line additions that you can add too your Grand Theft Auto IV shortcut/icon to force it to do what you want (make sure you are adding these to the LaunchGTAIV.exe shortcut):

ie. add -nomemrestrict -norestrictions -novblank -percentvidmem 100 to Launchgtaiv.exe NOT gtaiv.exe, run as administrator [Vista], and your graphics options will not be limited by your amount of graphics memory. Add other parameters as desired.

Tools:
-benchmark: Runs the benchmark tool and immediately exits game.
-help: Display list of all command line options

Graphics:
-renderquality: Set the render quality of the game. (0-4)
-shadowdensity: Set the shadow density of the game. (0-16)
-texturequality: Set the texture quality of the game. (0-2)
-viewdistance: Set the view distance of the game (0-99)
-detailquality: Set the detail quality of the game. (0-99)
-novblank: Disable wait for vblank (No Vsync)
-norestrictions: Do not limit graphics settings
-width: Set width of main render window (default is 800)
-height: Set height of main render window (default is 600)
-safemode: Run the graphics in the lowest setting possible
-frameLimit: Limit frame to interval of refresh rate (ex If refreshrate is 60HZ –frameLimit 1 = Locks down to 60HZ)
-refreshrate: Set the refresh rate of main render window – Warning - Monitor must support (ex. –refreshrate 60)
-fullscreen: Force fullscreen mode
-windowed: Force windowed mode
-availablevidmem: Set amount of physical Video Memory(ex. –availablevidmem 0.9)
-percentvidmem: Percentage of video memory to make available to GTA

Audio:
-fullspecaudio: Force high-end CPU audio footprint
-minspecaudio: Force low-end CPU audio footprint

System:
-noprecache: Disable precache of resources
-nomemrestrict: Disable memory restrictions




Here is an explanation of the [very few] settings that are available in the Graphics Settings Menu, from the GTAIV Rockstar Info .DOC:

THE GRAPHIC SETTINGS OF GRAND THEFT AUTO IV PC
Most users using current PC hardware as of December 2008 are advised to use medium graphics settings. Higher settings are provided for future generations of PCs with higher specifications than are currently widely available.
Graphics settings are limited by system resources by default. 256MB video cards force minimum settings by default. If a user bypasses these safety measures using command line arguments and exceeds their system resources, the users gaming experience may be compromised.

Video Mode Resolution scaling effects water, reflections, shadows, mirrors and the visible viewable distance. The resolution settings relate to the amount of available video memory. At 2560*1600 the game will require 320MB of video memory in addition to all the memory required for content. At 800*600 the game will require 32MB of video memory in addition to the content. Medium resolution settings are recommended for most users as higher settings are only usable if there is available video memory.

Texture Quality Texture quality affects the visual quality of the content of the game. High setting for textures will require 600MB of video memory at a setting of 21 View Distance in addition to the memory taken by the Video Mode. A medium texture setting is recommended for most users.

Render Quality Render quality is the texture filter quality used on most things in the world rendering. Most people would know this as anisotropic filtering. Medium settings are recommended for most users and will provide filtering beyond what the console versions can execute.

View Distance View distance scales the distance in which different objects in the world such as building and cars are seen. Raising this option increases the distance in which high quality objects must be loaded and will increase the memory it requires. Restrictions are established to ensure the game runs optimally for most users. A setting of 22 or more will provide PC users an enhanced experience over the console versions.

Detail Distance Detail distance scales aspects of the environment that the View Distance setting does not including vegetation, trash and other moveable objects. A setting of 10 would be the equivalent to the performance on a console. This setting has little effect on memory.

Vehicle Density Vehicle density scales the traffic density of the traffic in the game. It has no effect on the mission vehicles or difficultly of the game, but can have a significant impact on CPU performance

Shadow Density Shadow Density controls the number of shadows generated for positional lights in exterior environments. These shadows are exclusive to the PC version and can have a major impact on CPU and GPU performance.

Crossfire/SLI With the latest ATI driver (8-11 series) the game supports crossfire modes (ie. 4870x2) SLI is currently unsupported. Support will be added through a future game patch as well as an updated Nvidia driver.

NOTE: Background Processes Certain background processes can have a detrimental effect on system performance when playing GTA IV, especially on systems with minimum required system memory. Users should ensure they disable their Virus scans (especially “on-access” type scans) when running the game to maximize performance.



Another problem I had was getting friggin LIVE to work. After I got the game up and running finally, I couldn't save my games (or keep track of Achievements, but that wasn't as important to me).
The problem was mainly the Firewall Ports.
I had to continually ALLOW ALL / OPEN the Firewall to get everything to flow nicely, until I collected all the ports that could possibly be used for the game, the Social Club and GFW LIVE...

LIVE Firewall/Router Ports
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/908874

Other helpful ports are:
GamesForWindowsLive
1024-5000 (udp)
DirectX/DirectPlay
2300-2400 (udp/tcp), 47624
Universal Plug n Play
1900 (udp), 2869 (tcp)

Opening these ports should help get this stuff working while not having to completely turn off your firewall/put yourself in the DMZ, but then again with all these friggin ports open, you are basically nominally protected anyway.


Social Club Problem?
.NET 3.5SP1
http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?FamilyID=ab99342f-5d1a-413d-8319-81da479ab0d7&displaylang=en

Getting a DD3D80 or MM10 or RMN20 error?
Well here is the page at Rockstar to find out what ALL the error codes mean (not extremely helpful, but it's a start):
http://www.rockstargames.com/support/gta4pc/GTAIV_Error_Codes_ALL_EN.html

Running Windows XP?
You'll need this:
Service Pack 3
http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?FamilyID=5B33B5A8-5E76-401F-BE08-1E1555D4F3D4&
displaylang=en

Running Vista?
You'll need this:
Service Pack 1 (32-bit)
http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?FamilyId=B0C7136D-5EBB-413B-89C9-CB3D06D12674&displaylang=en
Service Pack 1 (64-bit)
http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?FamilyId=874A414B-32B2-41CC-BD8B-D71EDA5EC07C&displaylang=en


Oh, and if you're getting just a black box and then it closes? Or if you're getting a crash to desktop on trying to run the Grand Theft Auto IV Shortcut?


(Also helpful if you are seeing this)


Run the Rockstar Social Club Shortcut first (can skip logon if want) and THEN run the Grand Theft Auto IV Shortcut to launch the game.



There's more, but I can't think of them right now...

Title: Comic Strip Funny Thingie

For those who are sarcastic, cynnnical, morbidly funny or just looking for off-beat humour, Nicholas Gurwitch has your order ready at

http://www.pbfcomics.com/

Here are a few samples:

No wonder I couldn't sleep earlier...

Meowarchy - Demon Cats

Meowarchy - Demon Cats
(a fantastic collection of crazed kitties)
by Anticyclonic

Past civilizations thought cats were either from Hell, communicated with Hell, or could take you to Hell.
We agree.

Favorites:
Jimmy likes » The black and white that smacks the hell out of the poor little dog trying to just get a little bite of food
Shad likes » The 'Dancing Grey' that bobs back and forth, with help from it's owner (roew roew ROEW reow reow REOW)
Ifx likes » Pinky the one that is up for adoption, showcased by Officer Whatsisnuts

All Videos can also be found at our YouTube site: http://www.youtube.com/user/ctrlaltins

Jimmy Wonders...

So, I wonder to myself:
"Self, why do people do this?"




Now don't get me wrong, every generation has it's own looks and styles and I'm sure even they knew how stund they looked..


Or maybe they didn't..
at least at the time.

I guess I'm wondering why THIS style, and why now?












Is it only for special occasions?

Are they trying to emulate some hero of theirs?

Because if they ARE, then kudos to them, they are doing a bang-up job.





Hell this guy even has the menacing look down pat.

Nice job, man (although we'll have to dock points because of the hair - roids thinning you out too much, bra?).

(By the way ladies, if your man does this into the camera when he takes pictures (and EXTRA POINTS if he does it all the time) then he may not be the most tender, caring advice-giver you may be looking for in a father for your possible future children).

I guess I'm wondering how or why it became "cool" at all, and how can I immunize any future children I may have against it?




(I'd like to reiterate the 'wondering how or why this became cool at all').

Hell, I'd immunize myself against it now, if there was a known vaccine and it meant that I wouldn't have to look at it anymore.

I guess what I'm really asking is:

What region are these people found in? I plan on going down there and laughing at them and take some of my own photos to bring home for my friends.

Jimmy is a collector of pictures of humorous looking people and always finds it funny when new styles or fashions arise that are far outside the norm.
No direct insults or degredation is meant by this article and the author is well aware that he looked stund when he was younger as well.
Please let us know if you would not like your stund photos placed anywhere on this weblog. (CopiedWrong)2008, CTRL+ALT+INS

The Crazy Frog Brothers

For those who haven't seen it yet...



We point and laugh, but c'mon you know at one time, you did this too. By yourself, with others, into a mirror or other reflective surface.. we all did...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwhSMm4IXGQ

World of Warcaft: Battleground - 10 Druid Warsong Gulch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSwOlpoXxe4

High Quality Version at:

http://files.filefront.com/WoW+10druidWSGwmv/;9580630;/fileinfo.html

The North American Union

Since about 1999 (and probably before that), there have been efforts working towards a North American Union, similar to the likes of the European Union. Some might know it as The Security and Prosperity Partnership of North America (http://www.spp.gov/).


Here is a picture of the proposed North American 'Super Corridor', a fantastic highway, which will be the main 'artery' for this future Partnership of North America.















Most of the media I am able to find is of course the 'We Fear Change' type of media (nothing against these companies or people - just an observation of the general public's First Reactions to ..well ..ANY kind of change), such as these two below, found on YouTube (not my videos):





Now, I have nothing against either sharer of these recordings, or Lou Dobbs, or any company or anyone out there at all - I am merely stating that the responses I have found, mainly (so far) are negative responses to this merging. I realize this is a general 'first response' that the public has for ..any change really. I also understand why many (especially United States'ers with their sense of Nationalism) will object to this - AT FIRST.


(Shown here is the North American Leaders' Summit, from August 2007, attended by US President George W. Bush, Mexican President Felipe Calderon and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper)


For one thing, this is something that has been going on for years and is going to happen whether you or I like it or not. Some people have been wondering why the 'American Dollar' has evened out across the border.. perhaps this is a first step to helping us 'general public' to think 'we are all equal', in a way, yes? Should we be worried? No. Should we take up arms and revolt? Heck No. For another thing, if everyone (general public/mass 'mob'/'the people') could just stay calm, take a few deep breaths and actually THINK about this for a moment.... they might find that it is actually a Good Idea.

Why?

If you are a business (especially if you are in the top percentage of wealth in the countries involved (Mexico, United States, and Canada) or the top businesses): you are in for a hootenanny celebration and expansion of an open, free, new-car-smelling, shiny-baby-bum of a helluva market of people to sell to. Less taxes, less tariffs and trade problems, less muss, less fuss - nothing but a 'bigger market'.

If you are in the lower classes (the 'disappearing middle' and lower classes): you will soon have access to better education, better health care, more facilities of both, 'higher' standards of many many things that so many people are in need of... the possible improvements (if done correctly) can't even fully be listed.

The possible improvements and lessening of many problems is the reason (I feel - ok you have to add BigBusiness in there, but that's just human nature) something like this is finally happening, it's the 'perfect time' for this to happen, isn't it? (I realize this little-read blog may now be bombarded by the NewWorldOrder and other conspiracies crowd to berate me lol). Think of this: What are the major problems facing these countries (from the view of the average citizen and officials that have to solve the average persons' complaints)?

Health Care
Education
Taxes
Immigration Problems
etc.

Correct? These haven't changed for a few generations... Now, would these problems be, at least, lessened by a North American Union? C'mon stop and really think for a second.

Now, many (many many many) of you may think of comparisons to Roman Times, the USSR, the EU.. there will no doubt be a huge range of reactions from 'NO WE MUST FIGHT IT' to 'If it does this or that, it might be an improvement' to 'increased security is always good' to 'this is just another step towards a World Government'.

Hey, I finally found some Canadian Coverage! (not my video):


I honestly don't understand why there is so much negative response to this (again, most of the media I can find seems to be only USA Media). Think about it - three countries, three different peoples coming together.. doesn't that sound - at all, GOOD? Really, if you stop and think for a moment, tell me (after you take a moment to think, of course) ...what exactly is so bad?

Frnak's Fast (And Easy!) Feasts™ #1

Hi, I'm Frnak and it's time to start our First-Ever
Frnak's Fast (And Easy!) Feasts™!

This first recipe is a Classic, Time-Honoured NorthAmerican Tradition known as the "Cheese-on-a-Cracker".
But, we wanted to spare no expense on this, our first time out, so we're going with Premium Processed Cheese slices and get this, Ritz™ crackers! Also, we're going to 'Deluxe-It-Up' by doing the famous 'sandwich style' cheese-on-a-cracker (we're just crazy crakas I guess).

We've rated this recipe "RE" for ReallyEasy, as we've broken down this first Fast (And ReallyEasy!) Feast into three simple steps:


To begin, take two (2) Ritz™ crackers (you can substitute any cracker - saltines or Motzahwhatever for our JewishSuperFriends - instead of the Premium Ritz™ crackers). You'll also need a 'slice' of processed cheese (any brand or homemade slice is fine).





Next, take the cheese slice and place the corner on the cracker like so, being sure to line up the edge of the cheese with the cracker.







Then, rotate the cracker and tear around the edge of the cracker/cheese, tearing off the cheese to match the shape of the cracker.









Finally, place the second cracker neatly on top and you're done!










Time to enjoy the Cracker Sandwich with Cheese!







For those who want to copy and paste our very complicated recipe, here is the listing of ingredients so it is easy to follow along:

• 2 Crackers, any brand, small size
• 1 Slice Cheese, any brand, 'sandwich size'

For this recipe, we used Christie's™ Original Ritz™ Crackers (hey Christie - send us free Ritz! woot). For the cheese, we used some cheapo 'processed cheese slice' brand that probably couldn't legally be called "cheese" - use your fave brand!


There now, wasn't that fast (and easy!)?

Bon Apettite! (Good Eating!)

Tomb Raider - 10th Anniversary Edition: Peek

BIG slash-cheer for this.. At least for me.

I played the original Tomb Raider with my buddy Dave on his Saturn back in the day..

He loved it and just WATCHING him play it was fun. I liked the puzzles and suspense, while he seemed to enjoy more the female form and making her do his bidding.. Although she was mere pointy polygons, she started a trend that has been continually improved on ever since (that is, biological-polygonal representation). My friend showed his S&M side a little by shouting things at the screen like, "Go Bit**!" and "aw cmon that block isn't that heavy!" and other remarks to 'help her along'.. Don't get me wrong, Dave's as nice a guy as you'll ever find - the game just seemed to 'bring it out of him' (haha sorry D.)

The graphics at that time weren't great but were pixellated and blurry enough on the TV we played on that it was still immersive and enjoyable.I mean c'mon, wavy underwater and colorful tombs full of mythology? That was the first time we saw such things in a 3D game!



It was amazing to us. Everytime we played it, it was like another episode in our own 'Indiana Jones-style' action movie..



The idea of a 10th Anniversary (has it been that long - getting old alert!) is wonderful - especially for those that enjoyed the initial release. The gameplay (puzzles, etc.) have been updated and added to and the graphics have been brought into the 21st Century and with pixel shading (that 'bloom/glow' effect) and today's hardware will no doubt look spectacular..

Here are some screenshots:

(The animals actually 'look like' lions and gorillas this time)



Just a peek..

Getting ready to do climb-up handstands - can't wait for it to come out for the PC!

ctrl+alt+ins's Review of Crest Pro-Health

I know! Since it's been a timely two months or so since my last post (insert 'am sick/busy excuses here) this would be a great time to start up a tradition, or at least an irregular occurence on a blog, of sorts, by introducing..

DAH DAH DAH DAAAAAAHHHH (Imperial lol) :

The World's First ctrl+alt+ins Review!
(I'm going to call it "Number 1")


Today's Subject:















Crest Pro-Health Toothpaste
('Clean Cinnamon' Flavour)

Why toothpaste? Why not?


Ok, I realize you might be
thinking this

but hang in there,
caped crusaders!




Let me first state that I am a big fan of toothpaste.
Not a 'connoisseur' perhaps, but I have had a LOT of experience with toothpaste. (Ok, maybe you have too BUT ARE YOU WRITING A REVIEW OF THEM? HMM??..)

I have enjoyed many brandnames as I am not too 'brand loyal' when it comes to toothpaste. I figure, if it does the job AND doesn't taste like a mouth full of soap, GREAT!

Some brands I have enjoyed, off the top of my head, are:

• Close-Up
• Aim
• Crest
• Colgate
• Aquafresh
• and that gum that was like spongy pink gum-in-a-tube kinda
  

There have been more of couse, but I am merely trying to show you my qualifications here. I also have a tongue, which (I have heard) is capable of TASTE.
All of these factors together, I consider myself at least an EXPERIENCED toothbrusher (but not an EXPERT - and since I have never actually been PAID to brush my teeth, not a PROFESSIONAL).

First of all, what exactly is IN toothpaste?

I used to think it was exciting gels, sugars and chemicals that set the taste buds ALIVE and it just cleaned because we are gyrating our bodies around with sticks in our mouths. It's not anywhere near as exciting:

Water. About 30-45% of toothy-gel is Water. /sigh

Chalk. Yup, the exact same stuff the Teacher uses. The tube will list on it's side any name from 'Silica' (as in the rock/mineral) to 'dicalcium phosphate'.
What is chalk? It's minerals (in other words ROCKS) and leftover exoskeletons from crustaceans (in other words SHELLS FROM ANIMALS). Seriously. They grind it up and put it in there because the "Hardest Substance in the Human Body" award goes to Tooth Enamel - and this is the only thing tough enough (yet still gentle enough) to clean it without scraping it right off yer choppers.

Titanium Dioxide. Woot. Sounds like a little bit-o-Terminator in our moufs'. This is actually the stuff they put in White Paint to make it 'bright' and on your teeth it'll cover your yellow(or brown)-ness for at least a couple hours (until it is washed off by your saliva and swallowed). Mmmm.

Glycerine Glycol. For those of you who always forget to put the cap back on (I know you're out there) this will keep the toothpaste from drying out. Some of you might recognize it as an ingredient in Antifreeze. Mmmm again.

Paraffin. This is a derivative of petroleum and helps to keep it 'gel-y' (Smooth and Silky).

Seaweed. More technically, Chrondus Crispus is a mixture of seaweed that stretches in all directions while also helping hold it all together (I wonder if they've tried this in hair products?). Also listed on many products as Carrageenan or Xanthan (just like in chewing gum!). Mmmm gum.

Detergent. Yup, just like Tide™, they put good 'ol 'cleaning powder' in to make Foam and Suds - one example is Sodium Lauryl Phosphate. What good would toothpaste be without Foam and Suds? The answer: Perfectly fine.. but the public seems to prefer Foam and Suds. (Perhaps I won't 'think it's working' if it doesn't bubble up and start dripping out of my mouth? Okay, the foaming action also helps it 'reach multiple areas of the mouth').

Formaldehyde, Benzoates and Alcohols. The same stuff from ChemLab, AnatomyClass and the LocalBeerstore. It's to kill the bacteria that may creep inside the tube from the counter or from your toothbrush (and as a preservative).

Peppermint, Menthol, Spearmint, Saccharin. These sweeteners and flavourings are put in to combat the awful taste of the detergent.

Another chemical I see listed on the tube is: sodium mexahetaphosphate (this may or may not be stated on the product outside of Canada).













So what's the verdict?

Gameplay: 6/10

You might think "toothpaste is toothpaste", but hey, I'M THE CRITIC HERE AREN'T I?
This toothpaste starts off clean (as per the name!) and has a nice lather buildup (the detergent part) and only tasted slightly 'chemically'.
Why only a 6? This little tube lost BIG points on a funny after-taste of sulfur/metallic wierdness! (I even tested this after-taste by brushing with other brands right after and none of them had such a funny smell during rinsing).

Graphics: 8/10

A nice blue tube with those 'stand-up tops' and catchy, simple graphics proclaiming "HEY, THIS IS CREST!" (but I don't blame them). They automatically lost a point because the flavour designation is actually hard to find (for those of us with short memories only perhaps).

Sound: 8/10

Nice clean start with a nice cinnamon taste (ignoring the 'metallic after-wierdness). The little scrubby-granules worked well and didn't make any "Oh, it seems I'm chewing on Tinfoil" noises. It rinsed fairly clean (a little residue - the whitener?) but left it's 'light cinnamon' taste as well as a nice whitening effect. A classy exit.

Overall: 7/10

Does the job nicely and scrubs well. Nice light taste (as per the name) but a funny rinsing after-effect (again, tested with other toothpastes to make sure it wasn't my mutant tongue). Clean packaging (stands up on it's own! Welcome to 1990!) and clean rinse with a nice aftertaste.

Verdict: TRY IT!

Sorry Mr and Mrs Proctor, but your son didn't make the team. Crest's Pro-Health didn't make the coveted 8 out of 10 to be in our 'GET IT!' category, but works just fine and is an above average toothpaste.

(c) 20xx Ctrl+Alt+Ins Reviews.
All opinions and social tendencies expressed herein are property of CtrlAltIns only and do not represent the greedy companies presented or their products they throw at the cash-cow cattle masses. Buy what you want - this review is just for fun!

Now You're Playing With Power

I'm already tired, but I had to post about this... this.. TRAGEDY

It's a veritable blasphemy of epic historical porportions (that's right, I spelled it PORportions, because that's how everybody says it..)

What am I so upset about? THIS:


RC PRO AM and ICE HOCKEY are Number 6 and 7 on the Top30? ?!1!one!1?

Who the heck are the judges? Have they not played ANY action games in the past 20 years?

I'll give in to Zelda being #1.. I mean.. it's ZELDA
But RC and IH being 6 and 7?

What do they think this is? 1975? It's 1988 people!
WAKE UP

I won't stand for this and plan on not buying ANY Famicom games until at least 1990..

I hope you will join me in this boycott against this travesty, tragedy, and other t-words that I am too tired to think of right now....

Power to the Players!

Bzzzztt

Ok, giving me shocks whenever I touch the glass, either my monitor is going to kill me, or give me super powers...

I think it's even getting worse. I can't clean it anymore.. lol

I have always had problems with static electricity. Ever since I was small, I remember hating my friend's one car, the one with the 'plush' insides that was REALLY comfortable, but not so fun when I went to close the door after sitting in it on the ride to the Arcade.


CRACK

My fingers would smart (hurt) for about an hour afterward.
/sigh


Today, it's my monitor. I used to just 'swipe my finger at it quickly' in an effort to 'lessen' that first jolt (I find if I can touch it 'fast enough', I can 'beat' the electrical impluse to the punch and barely feel anything, woot) but lately I can't even do that. It's just packing more and more power for some reason...

I went to clean it just now. I was sitting with my headphone/earbuds in and sprayed the papertowel and went to wipe it down..
AH AH FIRST, I have to do the 'touch it fast' thing, so I try:


Monitor crits you for 3549.
Earbuds cast Lightning.
Your Ears have been slain.

OW! What the heck was that? My headphones went CRACK and it felt like someone jabbed two toothpicks in my ears....

After I get over being wiped out/tired from such a jolt (I should've laid down I suppose), I am still getting 'little tingle aftershocks' in my ears and fingers and feet and for some strange reason, other places...

Forget it, I don't care if I can't see through it eventually, I am not going to clean the glass anymore.. Time for catching up with the 90's and getting that flat-panel display!

Simply Linux

The first time I saw unix was many moons ago at university. The first time I saw Linux was RedHat just as many moons ago.

I saw iterations of Linux off and on over the years, I saw RedHat evolve into Fedora (I have always liked the 'look' of FedoraCore). I saw SuSE evolve into openSuSE (I was training in Novell around this time). I liked the GUIs that were evolving, but still felt that Linux was 'too much typing/configuration' for me, and for it to be 'accepted mainstream'. This is something the Linux hackers love but for me, I wanted ease of use and the ability to learn and pass it along to others..

Enter Ubuntu Linux.

A sleek, easy-to-use operating system that seems to offer full replacement of almost all of my computing needs. With a strong community (even free and commercial support) and a feeling of 'always fresh', Ubuntu (pronounced oo-BOON-too) is truly representative of it's own claim of "..free.. easy.. always..".


Updated every 6 months and with a fiery, reponsive community, I have only recently dabbled into this 'flavour' of Linux.

So far, it has been spectacularly easy. I downloaded it a few versions ago, and it 'felt like any other Linux', with it's text/typing installation. Some terms were used that assumed you knew a few things about linux and some hardware, and all of it seemed a little 'scary' still, to a 'brand-new' user.

With it's latest release (6.10 "Edgy" at the time of this writing) that has all given way to an easy, graphical, point-and-click interface (others have had this as well). Wonderful.




This is the trend that I believe will help make this 'younger' version of Linux outpace the rest of the editions (mainstream-wise). It has already topped the 2006 polls.

I am also trying out open SuSE 10.2 and looking forward to trying Fedora 6. These are also classical favourites among many nerds.

As I play with these versions more and more, I will share my findings (as are many, many people both on and off the Internet, already) and my journey to which Linux I personally feel I will 'choose' and 'stick with' and 'share with friends and family'...




For those interested, here is a summary of the Desktop Linux Poll Results for 2006 (about 15,000 polled):

Top Linux Distributions ('flavours')

1. Ubuntu 29.2%



2. Debian 12.2%



3. openSUSE 10.1%



4. Gentoo 9.6%



5. Fedora 7%

Most Popular Graphical Interface and Environment

1. KDE 37.7%



2. GNOME 35.1%



3. Xfce 9.8%



4. Fluxbox 3.9%



5. Enlightenment 3.8%

Most Used Web Broswers

1. Firefox 58.2%



2. Konqueror 16.3%



3. Opera 12%



4. Mozilla 4.7%



5. Epiphany 2.7%

Most Used Email Clients

1. Thunderbird 36.4%



2. Evolution 18.8%



3. KMail 16.3%



4. Does not apply 13.2%



5. Mutt 4%

Most Popular Method to Run Windows Programs

1. None — I don’t run Windows apps on Linux 38.9%



2. Wine 33.5%



3. VMWare 16.7%



4. Crossover 7%



5. Xen 1.1%

KITT car on eBay

I wouldn't have even considered the price, even though I was a huge fan of Mikey and the Kitt'n when they were hurtling over trucks and fences, landing with just a:

Michael: (bumpiness)"oomfph.. whew, KITT - good job!"
K.I.T.T.: (English Accent) "Thank you, Michael."

until I saw the interior...

http://www.autoblog.com/2007/01/30/ebay-find-of-the-day-kitt-up-for-sale/


/sigh

Time to make that withdrawal from my Swiss Bank Account.. now if I could just find that number again...

First!

Well, we'll see how often this gets updated

I plan on using this not only as a link-sharing spot for friends and creepy net strangers, but also for myself and a place to express myself in ways that I never would, except for being able to type it out on a screen in little letters that people will never read (read: rant).

I spell great, but sometimes forget punctuation. Oh, and if I'm tired, I will spell badly - guaranteed

Goodnight